A Peaceful, Pressure Free, Imperfect Holiday Season
Queen Elsa it and let it go…
The other night, Doug and I were chatting about the crazy progression of Black Friday. Doors opening earlier on Friday slowly crept into late night hours on Thursday and now, people are skipping Thanksgiving dinner with their loved ones to ensure they are in line at the mall. This is not a blog post on the craziness of consumerism, but instead just thoughts on the pressure of the holidays.
From the beginning of November, it feels like we are on an invisible running clock. The finish line is Christmas Day and our victory lap is New Years. This undercurrent of rushing slices through the festive spirit of the season and replaces it with stress and frustration. Cue: the sheer stress of Black Friday vs enjoying the act of buying a gift for someone you care about. While this is the antithetical opposite of what this space of time should be, we all fall into it (myself included).
However, this pressure isn’t just about holiday timelines…it’s often rooted in an unrealistic goal of having a picture perfect holiday season. As you scroll on your phone it’s brimming with perfectly crafted tablescapes, time consuming DIY projects, lovely family portraits, and of course, Christmas card ads reminding you of that pesky running clock.
Here’s the reality though: that isn’t reality.
TRUST ME, I love a well curated table and choosing our Christmas card each year is one of the little joys of my life. Please don’t hear me saying that any of those things are harmful or frivolous in themselves. It’s more that in the middle of that lovely, I have often gotten caught up in making sure all was perfect and missed the reason we are celebrating these days in the first place. I have spoken harshly to Doug because his question interrupted my envelope addressing. I have been the begrudging shopper annoyed at long lines and full parking lots. I have been rude to the customer service rep who happened to answer my call about an unshipped item. The pressure consumed the joy.
Will I stop aiming to create idyllic gift wrapping? No. Do I have a blog post saved of adorable DIY turkey place cards at this very moment? Yes. However, I’m hoping to reframe my focus on why we celebrate these special days…what makes this time of year so magical. Some of my favorite holiday memories aren’t drenched in perfection, but they were simple and hopeful. My mental filing system hasn’t kept these moments because of their flawless nature, but because they were full of people I love the most in this world; they were fueled and sustained by feelings of gratitude and celebration.
I think part of what helps this pressure thrive is the contrast between the picture perfect season we are supposed to be having vs. the actuality of life. People can let us down. We can fall prey to our own ugliest tendencies. Cancer can be diagnosed (or diagnosed again). Jobs can be less than fulfilling. We can feel lost in the shuffle. We can lose people we love.
So, given that and my mission to kiss the pressure goodbye, what’s my hope for this season, for my family, and for you?
That we would allow ourselves a healthy dose of grace.
That we would find outlets to walk along side people in our community who could really use our help this time of year.
That we would hug the moments that aren’t as tidy.
That we would lean into the holiday activities we enjoy doing, but not get lost there or allow them to control our mindset in a negative way.
That we would embrace coming around a table that might not be perfectly decorated, but is steeped in laughter and sharing.
That we would balance the timeline with more love and less of our perfectionist expectations.
That we would remember that the holidays can be painful for people and make the first step.
And mostly, that we would be filled with the magic and power of this season and all it represents: love, family, giving, thankfulness, and the birth of a baby who would ultimately change the course of this world.
Wishing you all a peaceful, pressure free, cozy November and December.
Sincerely,
Ashley